Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Battle of the Sexes: Girls vs. Boys

Ah! What a weekend!

Just been to an advanced memory course and it was AWESOME man! I actually learnt how to remember hundreds of numbers in a short time and won't forget! I could even remember a long list of words and stuff, beauty eh?

Also, they did teach us a little something about anger management. So like, we were assigned to a partner and my partner happened to be this tall guy who looks like a college student. He supports Spain and he looks pretty tough.

OK, back to the subject.

So anyway, we were told to sit opposite our partners and we have to be close. We also have to look at each other in the eye. Ah, a bit shy...

Then. we fire each other! And by fire, I mean scold the fella for no reason. He has to have no expression on his face.

Honestly, I'm not so good at firing people. Though, I think I hit the sensitive spot when I insulted Spain... heehee.

A few hours later, we had this session about ambition.

That's when we met Ms. Haji.

Mr. Dass, our lecturer, introduced her as the sweetest, sensitive and most gentle person of all (yeah, right.) She was there to talk to us about our ambitions and our dreams.

So in walked this Indian lady, probably in her forties with straight hair, a brown dress and black leggings. She introduced herself as Ms. Haji. At first, she spoke to us about some of the most amazing people in the world with big dreams and stuff.

As soon as she got us all inspired, that's when she attacks.

She turned to a girl and was like, "What's your ambition?"

And the girl said, "An accountant."

Wah! Then Ms. Haji said how selfish the girl was because she wanted to make more money for herself and stuff. And that's gotta hurt.

Next, she asked another boy the same question, "What's your ambition?"

To which he replied, "A doctor."

And then she called him a murderer. A murderer! She said how doctors are actually murderers and that they only want to make money because they're being very selfish.

Then she told a girl who wants to be a lawyer that lawyers are liers because they only wanna make money once again, a boy who wanted to be a cricket player that he's being selfish for wanting to do only what he wants and again, to make more money.

Suddenly, she turned to me. Shit!

Then I also kena the dreaded question; "What's your ambition?"

I was like, " A marine biologist and journalist, because I like the marine life and perhaps I could earn a living from writing."

Once again, she said I'm being selfish because all I wanna do is to only make money! But, I know very well deep inside of me that I'm not doing this for money. Sure, I need money to survive, but I'm doing this because I wanna help the environment and I believe I'd be happier this way.

I know who I am and I don't need some woman who doesn't even know me tell me who I am, thank you very much!

Several heartaches later, she said that we're the laziest, most lousiest, good-for-nothing bunch she have ever met. With that, she left.

By then, I could see some of the eyes of the victims almost welling up. I guess some of the things she said really did hurt them.

Mr. Dass came back and was like, "What did I say? Isn't she the sweetest person ever?"

That did it.

Then everybody was bombarding Mr. Dass with their complaints and stuff. One wanted to slap her, another wanted to punch her, and another said that all her dreams were thrown out of the window because of her.

I too, was a bit hurt. But I didn't say anything. Somehow, I felt that whatever she said, I didn't think she meant it. I mean, what kind of person would wanna crush peoples dreams and ambitions for nothing? There must be a reason for it.

The answer came soon enough. Apparently, Ms. Haji was supposed to crush us.

Mr. D said that if you love someone, sometimes you gotta punch then in the stomach in order to help them improve themselves. Ms. Haji is actually a nice lady who loves children. He said that if our ambitions were strong enough, our determination would've boasted up ten times more!

Also, it was the second part of our anger management session.

Dang! She really got us there.

But the best part of the course was Girls vs. Boys.

So the girls go to the girls group and guys to guys group. Then, we list down what we want in the opposite sex. Here's a few of the things we girls came up with:

1. Must have 6 pack abs.
2. Must be rich
3. No Tiger Wooding (look it up on Google)
4. No drugs
5. No farting in bed (guess who's idea is that)
6. Must be kind
7. Must spend on us
8. No free sex
9. Must do housework
10. Carry our shopping bags

Of course, the guys won't take it without a fight. So here's what they came up with:

1. Must be tall (Obviously, its requested by this really tall guy in the group)
2. Can cook
3. No leg hair
4. Must be able to have at least 2 kids (WTF!?)
5. Knows how to massage
6. Knows how to make cheeseburger (???)
7. Must do housework
8. No violence
9. Should be 99% girl
10. No nagging

Ah, I guess its hard to please everybody...

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