Friday, March 25, 2011

The Art of Cheating

Ahh! The battle is finally over! We have finished our exams!! Yay!!!

During the four days of exams, exams and nothing but exams, I realized that it can be an absolute pain in the butt if you can't remember what you've just learnt 5 minutes ago or you simply just can't remember the definitions for all the nilai murni (moral values) in the P. Moral exams.

And that, my friend, is how I discovered the useful craft of cheating during an exam.

Disclaimer: Do not blame me if you got caught cheating during the exams. I'm not responsible for your exam results and everything you do is at your own risk.

#1 POSITION
So far, what I've learnt about cheating is that a person is most likely to cheat depending on where he or she sits during the exam. If you are sitting too close to the teacher, then you can forget about cheating at all... or you can take the risk.

Who knows? The teacher maybe distracted trying to figure out his new smartphone or they might simply be distracted from sheer boredom itself!

If you had the chance to pick where to sit during the exams, I suggest you try to avoid the following danger zones below...


Obviously, if you plan to cheat, you'd be an idiot if you chose to sit next to the teacher.

Unfortunately, I was the idiot who sat next to the teacher. I sat in front of the whiteboard *sigh*. On the bright side, I got to doodle on the whiteboard though...

I also feel that it isn't very safe if you were to sit next to the door because...

a) The teacher tends to walk a lot and where does she end up standing? Right, at the door to watch the world go by...

b) Even if your teacher wasn't standing there, another teacher (or worst, the principal) walking past might catch you in the act because you'd probably be the first person he/she sees at the entrance of the class.

Based on my experience from years of exams, the easiest way to cheat from another student is to sit diagonally behind the person you'd wanna cheat off. That way, you are able to see the person's answer from behind AND sideways. Like this.


The person you'd wanna cheat off is the green box. To cheat off him/her, you gotta sit at either one of the two blue boxes.

#2 EQUIPMENT

Today, I just sat for my P. Moral exams and it was the blackest moment of my life; I actually kept my notes with me to cheat off....

And the teacher who was watching us was our maths teacher and she was pretty sharp. During the first 5 minutes of the exam, she was going round the class collecting all the notes from some of my classmates who too planned to cheat and hidden it underneath their papers.

Unfortunately for them, the teacher suspected something like that was gonna happen so she checked through everybody's paper and soon, she had a stack of everybody's notes in her hands. I suppose she didn't check some of them because she didn't come to my place at all and I was sitting right next to her too! Hahaha!!!

Luckily, I didn't hide my cheat sheet underneath my exam papers. Instead, I hid it in my pencil box. Which comes to using the right equipments.

This is the pencil box I use everyday (including for today's exam).


Notice my little notes in there? Its a lot easier to see because you can easily pretend to rest your head on the table, casually open up the pencil box to inspect your writing tools as well as inspecting your notes. Just in case.

There is also a great advantage if your pencil box is coloured and scribbled all over like mine. That way, you can write some little notes on it and it'll blend in with the other scribbles!

Another useful equipment to cheat with is your mirror. As it was the first time I've ever cheated, I realised that its difficult to keep track on the whereabouts of the teacher especially if she's behind you.

Its no problem if you could see her in front, but its more risky if she's behind you as you'll never know if she caught you cheating red handed.

That's why small mirrors are useful so that you can see the teacher from behind and if you plan to cheat with a friend of yours who is sitting behind, you can use it to check on his/her answer too.

I realised that another way to cheat is to use a bottle of coke with its label on. Like this bottle.




See the inside of the bottle? You can write some of your notes on the back of the label, pretend to take a drink while peeking at the notes at the same time! Just remember to drink coke or pepsi rather than clear drinks such as water or tea. Otherwise, the teacher may see your written notes underneath the label and take it away.

So you'll have no water and no notes. Too bad...



3# CLOTHINGS

Another way to hid your notes is your clothings. For the girls, you can stick your small notes at the front of your pinafore.

The great thing about this technique is even if you got caught, what is the teacher gonna say if he/she is questioned on how they caught you? They were starring at your breasts? So to aviod embarrasment, they'd probably keep quiet...

As for the guys, you could always hide it in your shirt pocket and take a peek.



But, if you got caught, I don't think you could use the same excuse as the girls cuz you have no breasts. Unless you're a transsexual.

#4 HOW NOT TO CHEAT IN EXAMS


Sure, you now know how to cheat. But I've noticed a lot of cheaters during exams all the time and honestly, some of them are so obvious, its like they'd WANT to get caught!

For example,


Whispering to your friend may be the most convenient way to cheat, but its also the most obvious and easiest way to get caught.



This is probably the dumbest way to cheat...





If you did this in our school and got caught, you'd be in deep shit.

Last tip about cheating is make sure that you have a good relationship with your teacher and classmates because if they don't like you, they'd only be too happy to catch and turn you in.

But just to let you know, cheating shouldn't be the way to pass your exam if you truly cared about your education. You are only cheating yourself and nobody else. The best way to pass your exam is to study hard.

You'll feel so much better when you find out that you've passed without any help!

I feel so guilty right now. Hope the teacher don't see this....

Happy Cheating!




Saturday, March 19, 2011

Beaches and Bikinis

Ahh! Its been a long time since I last went to the beach! But sadly, I didn't get to go scuba diving or snorkelling because of the Tsunami in Japan.

Might as well make the best of it while we were there. This time, I got to go on holiday with my dad's side of the family for once in my life. I feel much closer to them now.

The two lovely ladies above are my cousins. The little one is Catherine and the other one is Jie Jie Ah Mei (A.M). I think its the first time they've been to the beach.






It was Cathrine's first time in the water and she was quite scared. At first, I offered to carry her in the water but luckily, her dad which is Uncle Casey came and took her into the water instead.


As for Jie Jie A.M, she was nowhere to be seen near the waters. Last I heard she was reading a book with her mom. Such a boring activity to do when you're at the beach with good weather and cute guys walking by!


Come to think of it, I didn't see her in a swimsuit either. Oh well...



At the beach, you are sure to find some topless lady walking by. Unfortunately for you, most of these topless women are not young with the body of a model. No, they're mostly middle-aged with their newly tanned skin and large boobies bouncing under the sun.


Same old, same old.


Eventually, Catherine got used to the waters. I was busy taking pictures of excited tourists enjoying the waters. For example...



Look how happy my brother is at the beach! I've never seen him this excited in a long time!


Me camwhoring at the sea :D



There's Uncle Casey and Aunty Irene riding on the jet ski. *sigh* I wish I could do that too...




And that's my grandma with her new hat. She ate her first McD there. She never had the chance to eat one because her son whom she's staying with forbid her to eat that because he thought junk food was rubbish.

Even his children aren't allowed to eat it either.


Look! I turned Catherine into a sand mermaid! Whee!!


But this girl ah, just had to move her legs. Why!?





And now! Its time to relax and enjoy the sunny breeze.


Too bad that it was my last day at Phuket. I had to go home by myself because I had a Piano exam to take. Stupid exam...


Before my dad dropped me off, he gave me some money in case my aunt Margaret forgot to pick me up at the airport when I arrive. He told me if that happens, I have to go hire a Taxi, give the address and call aunty Margaret and tell her the details of the Taxi driver.


Just the thought of it was kinda scary because I've heard a lot of stories of men pretending to be Taxi drivers, pick up young women traveling alone, drive them somehwhere else and rape them or kidnap them and all kinds of stuff!


I was a little nervous being at the airport all alone and after I followed where to go according to my boarding pass, I nearly boarded the wrong flight to Singapore!


Luckily, the staff told me that my flight was changed and directed me to another gate where thankfully, I got on the correct flight to KL. Omg, imagine if the staff was really blurr and let me board the flight to Singapore... I seriously will have no idea what to do... guess then I wouldn't be able to take the test either.

I was sitting next to 2 ladies who must be French because of their accent and one of them had their iPod on to full blast. So loud that even I got to enjoy the music.


It was Michael Jackson all night through... ahh...


By the time I arrived at KL, I was SOO relieved to see Aunt Margaret waiting there! Phew! If she never came, I might piss my pants!





Friday, March 18, 2011

Lock and Load



Yes, believe it or not, that's me. With a real gun. A Caliber .22 to be precise.

Oh yeah, I feel so dangerous right now!



We we're just cruising around the place with the car we rented from the airport and found this place. Word of advice: don't go in with small children and make sure you wear ear muffs in there. Trust me, it could get pretty loud in there...



Ooh! Look at all these pretty guns!




Guess which gun I chose.



Of course, somebody had to teach me how to use a revolver first. So this guy here has to supervise me while I'm handling the gun. I've had 10 bullets in the gun so I had 10 shots at the target.


video




Check it out! I scored 60%. Not bad eh?

Then its my brother Daniel's turn. He chose the Caliber 9 m.m. Guess how much he scored?


42%! Hahaha! And he plays those shooting games on the computer all the time!

Then, its my dad's turn to shoot the target. He also chose the Caliber 9 m.m.




Can you guess how much my dad scored?

43%! Only 1% higher than Daniel!

In your face, Daniel :P

And so, the top scorer at the shooting range is....


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/

/

/

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Duh.... ME!!! YAY!!

Of course, we did take a few stops along the way whenever there was something that caught our eyes. For example, this Jumbo here...

Like, the moment we opened the car door just for a sec, it STINKS to the high heavens! But, you know, we're animals lovers. So, we can tahan the smell...



We bought 2 baskets of bananas to feed the elephants. I don't mind touching the elephants so much, but Daniel and my mom were complaining that they had elephant snot on them. So... I'd prefer to keep my distance.



You know how when you pick your nose and sometimes you get this glob in either yellow, green, or grey, etc, etc...? I wonder what do you get if you picked an elephant's nose....



Thai Pepsi. Not bad. Tastes a lot like Pepsi.


Here in Phuket, there's loads to see at night. The roads will be closed which makes more walking spaces as we walk by the bars and pubs. If you're a man of religion or how do we say it... err.... holistic? I wouldn't go there if I were you.

But I'm not you, so... in we go!

Check it out. Every night, these 'girls' would go up there to pole dance and stuff like that. But do you know why I put 'girls' for?


Because they're all men. Yep, you're starting to regret that you guys ever felt attracted to them huh?


Guess the sex of these lovely ladies! Guess it wrong and I'll be so disappointed in you.

They all have dicks! To those who guessed it right, I'm so proud of you. To those who got it wrong... I will pray for you...


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Pleasant Surprises at Phuket


Sawadikap my dear readers! I just came back from Phuket, a great place if you're an outdoorsy person who likes the beach, street shopping, basking in the sun and oogling at half naked tourists by the beach.


Just... don't expect to see a topless Megan Fox or something like that, you maybe disappointed, grossed out, or if it works for you, turned on...?



What I noticed during the first 4 hours at the Patong beach where my hotel is that most of the people I saw there were Australians and maybe some Germans and Norwegians, etc, etc,... but the point is that there were more tourists rather than the locals themselves!



In Phuket, you can find these beaded heads anywhere because most of the female locals would love to do your hair... if you've got some cash that is. Minus the man at the background.



Ah yes! In Thailand, you can also find these pancake stalls anywhere by the streets. Their pancakes are awesome!


We ordered the Peanut Butter Banana pancake. Its a great choice if you like to eat neatly. Of course, if you're a chocoholic like me and don't mind the mess, the chocolate banana isn't too bad either; you just gotta brace yourself for the messy chocolate that'll cover your fingers if you're not too careful.


Here in Phuket, there are plenty of bars with loads of booze and not surprisingly, happy drunken tourists at night. Too bad I won't be one of those happy drunken people yet. Not until I'm 18 next year! Hahaha!


Another thing I like about Thailand is that unlike Malaysia, pork is included in most restaurants especially the western restaurant.

This dish above is the glazed baby back ribs from Harry's which is also just by Patong beach. It didn't say what kind of ribs it was like lamb, beef, etc, etc, on the menu. It just said Rack of Ribs. So when I first took a bite out of it, I was pleasantly surprised that it was pork! Finally! (excuse the language if you're muslim)


Plus, there were about 2 more of those ribs underneath it so I shared it out with my family as I couldn't possibly finish it all. And it only costs about 500 bahts which is RM50. That's pretty cheap for that kind of food.



I also noticed that the Thai dishes are very generous with vegetables and seafood. And I that's what I like about Thai food. Except the spicy dishes; some of them are so hot, I can't taste anything but my sweat and tears.


I've been feeling so lazy and listless lately... but anyway there's more to come on my trip to Phuket soon (I even got to use a real gun. An epic experience)!






Tuesday, March 8, 2011

My Sweet 17th Birthday

Hello my dear readers!

To all my friends, family and not forgetting my readers, thank you so much for the birthday wishes! I'm glad that you guys have thought of me on this special day (actually, that special day was on 5th March, but still!).

This would be the best birthday ever! This party wouldn't be a success if it wasn't for my good friends, Roann, Melissa and Rachel for helping me plan this party. Of course, this party wouldn't have existed either if it wasn't for my parents who made it happen!


So thank you so much you guys, love you lots!





No, this lovely bouquet of flowers isn't from my secret admirer. Its from my Godparents, Uncle Tony and Aunty Susan who couldn't make it for my birthday because aunt Susan isn't feeling well. Get well soon!



I'm so happy with this unexpected gift (secretly, I've always wanted to receive a bouquet of flowers even if there is no relevant occasion for it. Who doesn't?)!


Btw, there was some Ferero Roche that was part of the bouquet, but they all got eaten as the hours passed.



Aww... man, I forgot to take a picture of my birthday cake. It was a damn awesome cake too! Ah well, remind me to take a picture of my 21st birthday cake then, kay?





Oh yeah! See this dress? My mom's friend, Aunt Julie made me this dress! I'm so touched. I absolutely love the roses!




Me and ma girls Vivian, Rachel, Melissa and Jer Theng :D


This is Melissa. Her dad is our caterer and his cooking is spectacular! Honest! Even my parents think its really good (and trust me, when they say its good, its really good).


Me and my cousins Aaron and Sam (Sam and I share the same birthday. She's 16 this year).


These are the people who danced their way to RM50 that I offered to the winner out of the blue :P

One of the nicest gifts I've ever received was this cute birthday card my niece and nephew, Luke and Madeline made for me. Aww....



Ok, I admit that I can't read or understand some of the words they wrote there, but I really like it nontheless because I think its really sweet they took the time to make me a card. Nobody has ever made me a card before.

And look at this! A Parker pen! These things vary between RM50 and above. Some are even as expensive as RM500!






Check it out! This pen even comes with a warranty card. A freakin warranty card!




The best part... its engraved Happy Birthday! Like... wow...

And do you know what was the biggest OMG factor about this gift? Its from our new neighbour who lives next door! I thought they hated us!

Everytime we greet them with a hello or good morning, etc, etc... they just look at us blankly and totally ignore us. Except for the kids, they'd greet us back but the parents would ignore us.

I guess this gift had totally changed my perspective about them.

I was looking out for them to thank them personally, but I haven't seen them around. So I wrote them a Thank You note with my new pen and put it in their mailbox.


Also, thanks to my well-known knack of creating nail arts, my collection of nail polishes have expanded to 24 polishes in total.

So right now, I'm experimenting with my new nail polishes which I got from Jer Theng, Sophia, Vivian and the Malay girls in my class. I don't know which one of them got me that gift (the malay girls, not the other ones I've mentioned above).



And now my favorite gift is this picture frame of Melissa, Rachel and I. Thank you so much for the awesome picture frame. You guys are the best. I love it!

Other gifts I received was a gold charm bracelet my parents got me, a silver charm bracelet from my classmates, some makeup, T-shirts, decoratives, a teddy bear, soap, and lots. Of. Chocolate!


Oh yeah! I also got something from Nuffnang...

Woo! 4 free movie passes! Yay!!!



I LOVE YOU NUFFNANG! Thank you so much!!!


This is the best birthday ever...




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