Random Readup #11

Hello hello my dear readers!!

Lately, I was wondering if I could go back in time back to my cute little self...

What would I do differently as I grew up?

Well here's what I'd do differently starting from kindergarten.

Back when I was maybe 5 or 6, I had problems with math. My teacher was so frustrated that she took her red pen and continuously 'stabbed' my head with the pointy part whenever I didn't understand. Hard.

What made her even more frustrated was that I neither cried nor did I say a word. I just stared at her.

What I should've done:
I should've told my parents about it and get her sacked. And then I'll sue her for child abuse and I'll get lots of money and then I'll buy myself lots and lots of candy!! MuaHAHAHAHA!!!



Then came primary school..

OK, I was 7 that time. I was in this Chinese school and I barely knew how to make any friends. So I was a very quiet girl then. There's this really tall and SUPER white boy who sat next to me and he'd constantly try to make me talk.

Being very timid, I was not quite used to being pressured by things like these and although I maybe awfully shy, I'm pretty stubborn too. So, I ignored him.

Then there was this girl who spoke to me at a super fast speed during recess and I couldn't understand exactly what she said and I nodded. As soon as class began, the boy sat next to me and said, "Look, I know you like me."

And I was like, huh!?

I should've known that girl was up to something...

But I couldn't remember much after that. All I knew was that he was a pretty cocky kid then.

What I should've done:
Talk. Maybe then, I'd be a little more normal.


Then came the time when I was 9. I was the new kid in Seri Suria... and the school bus.

Our bus would sell all kinds of snacks and stuff and there was this fat kid who was my classmate and he needed money. So, he asked me for 80 cents but I didn't want to give it to him because there was something about him that I didn't like and I don't trust him.

What's more, he was very rude when he asked for it. Why can't he get it from someone else? So, I ignored the brat.

Being frustrated and angry, he started attacking me! He started kicking me and yelling at me. So what did I do? I fought back of course!

At first, I blocked his blows because I really didn't want to make a scene. Then he got overboard. So I kicked him and finally gave him a good punch in the stomach.

In the end, he gave up the fight. But he tricked my brother into taking my money and gave it to him. And that's how the fat kid got the money in the end. I watched his smirk face as he marched away with my money in his hands.

But what made me angry most of all was when we got home, I told my mom all about it and what did she say?

She said it was all right and let him be.

What I should've done:
Beat the crap out of him! I know its just 80 cents, but justice needs to be served and I should've suspected something when my brother came up to me. I was too soft.


Ah! When I was 13, there was this KH (Kemahiran Hidup, a.k.a Living skills) project where we were supposed to each take care of some seeds. I took good care of it for the past few weeks and it grew quite quickly.

On the day I was supposed to hand it over to the teacher, I left it under my desk where this guy sat during mandarin class. When I came back, he drowned it and put liquid paper on it.

What I should've done:
Smash the plant over his head.

Hmm.... come to think of it, so far I've had a lot of boy trouble, haven't I?




And now, if I'd chose which time would I would go back most of all to fix something, I'd choose 2009, back when I was 15.

If you didn't know, I'm a Catholic and so I go for rosaries. I went with my mom and brother, just going to one of the members of the BEC's (its a community from our church) house for rosary. Little did I know that what seemed like the usual friendly fellowship gathering became the most humiliating night of my life. So far.

OK, so it was after we've finished our rosary and we were sitting down by the dining table, having a drink with some cakes and sandwiches on the table and just chatting. One aunty offered me a cake and I declined the offer because I've already had dinner and I didn't feel like eating. Then, mom said that I was on a diet.

Diet? Who said anything about a diet? I wasn't hungry!

And the moment she said 'diet', another older aunty suddenly said, "You know ar, to be quite honest, you are quite fat, you know?"

I know that its quite true, so I just politely nodded.

And some more, she MUST emphasize her point. "Actually, you must eat lesser. Because I want to be honest with you and you are very fat. You must diet a bit more."

OK, I know that I maybe a bit overweight, but I think she's pushing it.

Then AGAIN, she wants to add, "You should go to the gym more and did you know that there's this machine that helps you to lose more weight? But it costs about RM100 per use. You really need to try harder, you know?"

What's more, she started to speak to my mom in Cantonese, as if I don't understand. And she was like, "Hou fei ar." (Fat ar?) and my mom also went, "Hai ah, hou fei." (Ya lor, very fat)

Mom, of all people!

And so, I had to endure this for about an hour and every time someone tries to change the subject or tell me that its not so bad, she'd say, "No lah! She's fat, OK?" and then she'd go on about my weight. As if she's the bloody world's most attractive body of the year or something!

You wanna know what's she like? OK, I'll tell you what she's like.

First of all she's skinny. Therefore, it means that she has the 'authority' to call anyone in her way 'fat'. Second, she's definitely waay above 60 and she dresses like she's 16, except her outfits are the kind that no teenage girls would be caught dead in!

She ALWAYS wear spaghetti stringed tops with the teeniest hot pants, so short, you'd swear they were panties in the most outrageous colours like a shocking pink or a banana yellow. Plus, she likes to wear a white ribbon tied around her head like the ones you see on little girls in her platinum silver hair. AND she wears all these 'cute' accessories which are meant for YOUNG people.

Basically, she dresses up as anything BUT her age. Besides that, she likes to hire ONLY young men as her caddie whenever she goes golfing (and yes, she also wears the most skimpiest outfit during her game).

The poor guy, what did he do to deserve this?

But if she has a body like Fran, from 'The Nanny', no one would be complaining. Unfortunately for everybody, she doesn't. Her skin is leathery and old with all its elasticity gone and whenever she walks with those awful pants, her legs wobbles.

And I don't mean by wobble a bit, I mean it WOBBLES! Like how you'd see those Hawaiian dances where they move their hips in a super inhuman speed?

Yeah, that kind of wobble.

What I should've done:
I should've calmly said, "Shut up, you old bag. I maybe fat, but at least I'm not UGLY."
*stare at her and smile politely*
"I can always go on a diet."

And then I'd walk back home by myself, with her mouth hanging wide open for the flies to come in.

I know that we're supposed to respect the elderly, but there is NO WAY I can respect that cow of a woman.

And so, a darker side of me has been revealed. Now wasn't that lovely?

Dog vs. Kids

Warning: This is a random conversation between the dog and the kids. Viewer discretion is advised.

What are YOU looking at??

Nothing...

You're hiding something...



What's it to ya?



I like men now!



Oh F***....



I should've eaten them kids while I had the chance back then...



Look at me! I'm a pretty princess!!



Oh yeah right!


Like duh! I'm way more stylish.



No way! I was talking about me.



.....



*gasp*



Is that a mole on my paw?



Check it out. I'm a stylish gangsta!



Hai yah!!



Is that all you've got, Little Boy??



Who you calling Little??

My First Edible Chocolate Muffin

Mmm...... don't these look gorgeous?

After years of disappointment, frustration, trials and failures, I did it, I've finally conquered it!

I've baked my first edible and successful muffin! Yipee!!

At least it wasn't like some of the crappy muffins I created in the past like the ones here.

So here's some helpful info about making muffins that maybe helpful to all you beginners from all those years of mistakes I've made in the past.

First of all, this is the recipe I used to make the muffin above:

Chocolate Chip Muffin

Ingredients list:

2/3 cup of baking cocoa.
2 large eggs.
2 cups of flour.
1 cup of chocolate chips.
1/2 cup of sugar.
2 teaspoons of baking soda.
1 1/3 cups of milk.
1/3 cup of vegetable oil.
1 teaspoon of vanilla.
1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Instructions:

Preheat your oven to 400°F.

Coat muffin tins with non-stick cooking spray.

In a large bowl, combine the cocoa, flour, sugar, baking soda, salt and vanilla.

Stir in half a cup of chocolate chips.

In a separate bowl, combine the eggs, vegetable oil and milk.

Add the egg, milk and vegetable oil mixture to the other ingredients until moistened.

Scoop the batter evenly into the prepared pan.

Sprinkle with the remaining chocolate chips.

Bake for about twenty minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Cool on a wire rack before removing from the pan.

Tips on what I've learnt from my errors in baking muffins:

1. Always separate the dry mixture(cocoa, flour, etc,etc...) from the wet mixture (eggs, milk, etc, etc..) before you combine them.

2. When you combine the dry with the wet mixture, do not pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture bit by bit like how you add eggs into a cake batter and stuff like that. Pour it all in one time.

3. You can make a hole in the dry mixture before you add in the wet mixture. This is called a well.

4. NEVER over stir the mixture. The maximum times you can stir is about 12 times. What I did was that once I've poured in all the wet mixture into the dry mixture, I'd let the dry mixture soak into the wet mixture before I stirred it so that I can minimize the number of times to stir.

5. What most recipes don't mention is what the mixture is supposed to look like. So the muffin mixture is supposed to be thick and lumpy, not smooth and watery. Otherwise, you'll get a sunken muffin with chocolate chips right at the bottom. Took me years to realize that.

I know some of you smart assed people may say things like "OMG, how can you not know that!?" or "That is the most basic thing. Everybody knows that!"

Well, newsflash! Not everybody knows that.

So I hope the few mistakes I've made the past few years in attempting to make a muffin would be helpful for all you beginners out there.

Enjoy your muffin! I know I did!

Gone Fishing

Hello my dear readers!

Aha! You thought my holiday in Singapore ended there, eh? You thought wrong!

Just to get things in detail, right after my adventure in Universal Studios, we went about in Vivo city the next day.

Honestly, the things that we did there was a bit of a blur because the only thing I could remember was eating at the "No Signboard" restaurant and it was one of the most memorable meals I've ever had!


But it wasn't the prawn that caught my attention, it was the crabs!

It was the best crab I ever eaten in a long time and although its size was a whooping 1.2kilos, the waitresses even had to come to apologize to us because their crabs are too small!

Too small? TOO SMALL!!??

Hello? 1.2kilos isn't small, its quite big actually and their crabs can be as big as 2.5kilos, even 2.7kilos!

What's more, if the size of the crab didn't amaze you, you'd be surprised by its meat! Its solid and sweet. Plus, the crab is full of eggs! They're all females!

Unfortunately, I don't have the picture of the crabs because my hands were too dirty to handle the camera and I couldn't get my hands off the crabs the moment I saw it. Its irresistible!

After the grand meal, which of course wasn't cheap either, we headed for Johor Bahru to stay with my godparents.

The next day, we went fishing! Woo Hoo!!


But first, we had some breakfast of Bak Kut Teh in the middle of nowhere, which is somewhere at the highway.

Surprisingly, for a place in the middle of nowhere, this place is pretty popular. During the first few minutes we were there, there were cars being parked until it was a full house!

LOOK! A MINI COOPER S!!

We then headed off to Mersing to buy some food and bait(for the fish).


Look at the little kitty! Its looks as if it was about to pounce on one of those dead fish.



We then headed off to the jetty in order to get to the Kelong by boat. Mom wasn't so pleased with my packing skills because it turns out that I'm the only one with two bags full of stuff (which I might need in case of emergency in my defense!), while everybody else has got one bag each and its not even full!

How is that even possible??


Isn't my baby brother so big??



Its so nice to have a holiday with the family!



You know what? For a kelong, this place is really clean! Including the toilet. It was only after we settled down that we started fishing.

I wanted to catch myself a 3 kilo Garupa for dinner but, alas! No such luck!


Oh well, at least I managed to catch 2 little fishes which I used as live bait and lost it to those darn Barracudas!

Stupid Barracudas...



Look at all these fishies!

In the evening, we went to the beach just for fun.





Look at the shape of this shell I found! Its a heart!
And now, its time to go back to the kelong....


For a BBQ!! Yay!!

Ah! And just a BBQ tip, weather you're in the beach or in the backyard, you can try BBQing a fish with its scale on and it should be covered all over with salt!

Trust me, it'll be absolutely delicious!

The best fish for this kind of BBQ would be a Telapia because its a pretty oily fish so most of its moisture would be trapped in its body while its been cooked.

All you have to do is to clean out its guts, cover it all over with plenty of salt, and you put it on the grill for about 15 minutes. Once its done, just open its skin and just taste the softness of its meat. Its also salted just right because its scale is protecting the meat from all that salt on the outside.

Try it! Its simple and quick. Plus, its a guarantee that it'll be unforgettable!

I Heart Universal Studios!

Don't these costumes look great??


HEY EVERYONE!!

I'm finally back home with free internet and its so good to be back!

I had a fantastic time in Universal Studios, Singapore. The moment I stepped into the place, I felt like running around like a maniac because I was so excited!!


There's something about this place that gives a vibrant air to it.

I mean, look at it! The scene of New York City is recreated in Singapore down to the last detail, it almost looks as if we weren't in Singapore anymore!



There's dad with the yellow cab!



And here's what Hollywood looks like:








Its really great over there!

There's the smell of candy in the air, and some jazzy music was playing on the loudspeakers so it really makes you feel like you're in a whole new different city, or a movie!

As soon as we finished the New York City zone, we just walked into a whole new different sci-fi scene and the music went techno!

However, I was a bit disappointed with the sci-fi because there wasn't much to see and that big roller coaster you saw in that photo just now?

CLOSED! Aww......

So anyways, a few seconds later, we stepped into the Egyptian scene!



You MUST try out this ride!


OMG! Its the most freakiest, scariest, AWESOMEST ride I've ever been to in my life (so far)!!

Its the first roller coaster ride I've ever been to that can reverse, go round in circles and its full of surprises! I was so freaked out during the ride and I was screaming my lungs out!

Its a dark ride, so you wouldn't know what's gonna happen next.

As soon as the roller coaster ride was going towards the end and slowing down, without thinking, I shouted , "ARE WE DONE YET???" and everybody started laughing.

Boy, I didn't even realize that I said it out loud...


The Jurassic Park has got the most rides I think..



There's this other ride which is more of a boat ride where its most likely that you're gonna get wet, maybe even soaked and it was pretty scary for me when I was in that ride because of the dinosaurs which gets really close to you.

At first, everything looks all calm and peaceful during the first few minutes of the ride. Then, disaster strikes!

I've gotta admit though, it is a fun ride anyway. Luckily, I went on that ride just as soon as I'm about to leave the place at the end of the day so that I didn't have to go about soaking wet the whole day.



And there's Far Far Away from Shrek!

Here, there's not many rides but shows. They have the 4D show where Donkey would sneeze and a spray of water would splash your face and another show where you actually get to talk to Donkey himself!



Remember this fountain from Shrek the Third?

And guess who I met later on??



I love this ad!

We then stepped off to Madagascar!



Just in luck! They started the show when we first got there!



The penguins are probably my favorite characters because they're soo cute!!




Eventually, we came across this place where a show is about to start called Water World.



Its a show where they reenact the scene from the movie Water World using special effects and noises and stuff, so its a pretty cool show!

Before the show began, these guys came out with water guns and stuff and began to spray water onto the people siting at the water zone!

Now that's what I call fun! I wish I had their job!


Thank God I chose to sit at the dry zone!



It was a great show! And it looked so real!



There's all those fire and gun shots and the sound effects, it was an amazing show!



Sometimes, there are plenty of characters from different movies would pop out once in a while. Like Frankenstein!


This guy freaked me out when I was trying to take his picture. He saw me and got so close to me and I was a bit scared at first.

He poked my nose and went away.

LOL


Just look at those souvenirs!

In the end, look what I got:




I had such a wonderful time in Universal Studios. The next time I visit Universal Studios, it'll be in L.A.!

And that's a promise.